ruin and treasure

where there is ruin, there is hope for a treasure. ~Rumi

I spend about half my time and energy thinking about how to get children out of the slums and into (as of yet non existent) homes on my land, and the other half of my time and energy worrying about myself: why does my back hurt? why am I so sad? why can't I buy more clothes?

there needs to be some balance, probably. and by 'balance', I mean, less of me, more of Him.

more Jesus.

more of the One who loves these children, knows their names, and has authority over the dust and dirt, the disease and the filth, the poverty and oppression. authority, even, over my whiny, selfish self.


I need to take my eyes off myself, because I can't fix myself anyway. I need to throw myself into this project, because as I love and serve others, and spend time with the One who loves them, I will begin to heal; I will begin to be healed.

the problem is that I don't know where to start. I feel very stuck. not with the general concept, but with the actual day-to-day tasks: I need money.

a lot of it.

but there is One who knows, and today I'm choosing to trust in Him.